Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
