headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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