He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
