Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Randomize
