so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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