i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
