We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I will be naked everywhere
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
