She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
