you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
