so let's talk penis.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
