He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You are the jesus of drinking
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
