Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I deserve this hangover.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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