I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
