they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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