i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
