Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
