I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
