bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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