Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
