my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
