He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
