what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
