And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
