batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize