There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
