So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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