My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Still dying that you shit outside
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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