ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
