Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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