so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
