Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
