Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
