I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So squirting runs in the family.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
