i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
