I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
