I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
