so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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