That's intense
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
