is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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