the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
