the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
