She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
