Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
