Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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