Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
