I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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