so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
