Screwed.edu
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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