Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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