Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
