How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
