pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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