Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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