a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
