U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
