Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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