I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
