I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize