Me too!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
