He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
