I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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