we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
