O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
