Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
