Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
